Saturday, January 19, 2013

Day 19: Mental Breakdowns

Sometimes I really wish I could do one of a few things, specifically when I have a mental breakdown like the one I just had.

I wish I could go to Neverland, where time stops and there aren't so many worries. No responsibilities, just fun and good friends and no weight on your shoulders. Actually, I'd just be fine with the time stopping part, because it seems that the thing I need most right now is time stopping. If I could just have more time then everything might work out ok.

If I couldn't go to Neverland, I wish that my life could be like in Star Wars, where when the Imperials attack the base, Han gets Leia and takes her away, even if only just to escape (and that escape probably turned into a month long vacation stuck on the Falcon). I wish that Han Solo would just fly in here and help me escape from, most of all my thoughts. Even if it wasn't Han Solo...just someone to come in and take me away and give me a break. Someone who won't put more on my plate when I'm no longer hungry.

But, sadly, neither of these things will ever happen. Granted, someday I might find someone willing to take me away, but that doesn't mean we could. In the meantime, I suppose I shall settle (not settle really, more like calm down) to the things that always calm me down...such as EPCOT music. Because I associate Disney World, EPCOT specifically, with being calm and happy, the music itself acts to calm me's just more psychology that I somehow know what it means. I try to listen to it when I'm working, and especially when I'm stressed because it offers, if only for a few minutes, some peace and silence into my life filled with hectic things.

Of course, no matter how much I wish it would, the noise inside my head won't stop...not until this is all over...which who knows when that will be.

Sorry for the depressing post today guys...I'm just in a terrible mood and wish that everyone would leave me alone to finish the things I need to be doing...and stop telling me to stop being "cranky" because it's not like I want to be that either! All I honestly can hope for in the next week is that I get some sleep...although I doubt I will. Still, we can hope.

And even if my day is bad, you go out and have a very magical day.